Nov 21, 2018
Our guest this week is Lori
Petro, the founder of TEACH through Love, and the creator of
Conscious Communication Cards. Lori is dedicated to helping parents
learn to communicate without blame, shame, judgment, and guilt. She
created TEACH through Love as an online resource for conscious
parenting, offering non-punitive and trauma-informed education and
support.
In this episode, Lori and I
discuss the importance of parent-child communication and how it
affects children's behavior and development. Lori introduces her
concept of ‘Conscious Communication’ and ‘quality feedback’. She
provides us with useful tips to help navigate and implement these
skills in order to help improve the parent-child relationship,
strengthen children’s neural connections and improve their overall
behavior. Learn more about Lori Petro here. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.
What is Conscious
Communication?
- Becoming aware and present of the words we are
using
- Giving quality feedback
Assessing
Communication
- Why
am I feeling deregulated that my child isn’t listening to me right
now?
- Why
is my stress level rising?
- Why
can’t I stay confident and calm when I am setting
limits?
- Why
do I get triggered so much?
Are you using reactive
phrases?
- Reactive communication
-
- Things that do not reflect conscious
communication i.e blaming, shaming, judging
- Spitting out directions: “Hurry up!”, “Why
aren’t you done?”
- When
communicating this way, even when coming from the best intentions,
parents must ask themselves how the message is translating to their
child
How to Give Quality
Feedback
- Offering the child a chance to respond and give
you information about what they need
- Restraining from giving directives or judging
their behavior
-
- Ex:
“I noticed your backpack is at the door. We’ve got 5 minutes to
leave, how can I help?”
Lori’s Three-Prong Approach to
Assess Behavioral Issues
- SUPPORT - are the parent and child
connected?
- STRESS - is this child sensory or cognitively
overwhelmed?
- SKILLS- is this a time where the parent must
set limits to help them build or grow in a skill i.e. focus,
attention, responsibility
How Conscious Communication Can
Help Neurological Development
- Kids
tend to thrive mentally, physically and emotionally
- When
parents respond to their children with empathy, they help
strengthen the neuro-connectors in their brain.
Punitive Behavioral Approaches
Can Be Harmful to Parent-child Relationship
- Children who are highly sensitive, trigger
easily, are on the autism spectrum, or have experienced
trauma
- This
could lead to hard-wiring of negative behavior, even when your
intentions are coming from a good place
Where to learn more?